Sunday, 21 May 2017

Kindness Challenge Week 2 Reflection



This week was all about self-compassion.

Before I begin, I want to say I am on the whole a happy person. I see the glass half full. I love life. So I wasn't too sure what I would learn this week on the subject of self-compassion.  But I read the task and started to listen to my internal voice and how it spoke to me - weird right?  

I tried to think back to when I first heard that voice and I reckon it was there before I went to school so maybe 4 years old or thereabouts.  My inner voice helped me when I was unsure of things and trying to figure them out or a little bit worried about new things - it gave me confidence when I was young.

Somehow that had changed over time and listening to my inner voice during last week made me realise that often it was a rather harsh voice that often criticised me and my actions at times.

So this week, I tried to make my inner voice more like that of a parent to a child - giving encouragement, not dwelling on what had gone wrong but how to make things right in the future, trying to figure out why I might be behaving in certain ways and rather than barking orders or be disappointed cajole and encourage.

In a nutshell, I tired to get my inner voice to be kinder towards me. 
Eureka moment - this is why this task is in the Kindness Challenge!!

I cannot lie - t's been quite strange hearing this new voice inside me! I have felt more like a child at times but I have liked not having angry or disappointed thoughts roll around in my head!  Another big thing I have realised is that my inner voice does NOT give myself a pat on the back - it does not say well done and I think that's rather strange when I say so many things to others to congratulate them on a job well done or good trying!!

It's certainly not easy changing my normal inner voice but I am glad I've had chance to think about the way I behave towards myself and I hope I can continue to not beat myself up as much as I sometimes do.

Please feel free to join in this Challenge yourself - it's never too late to start - just press on the badge in the side bar to go to Niki's site.


19 comments:

  1. Something directed me to your blog tonight!! And I needed to hear this. I talk so negatively to me. And it has been terrible lately. I needed this pick me up. And I can only say thank you very much for this!!!

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    1. I'm so pleased this resonated with you, Paula although of all people and the many things you do for others your inner voice should certainly be saying "Well Done You!". We can practise together :)

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  2. Most interesting Senco, I have learned over the years to listen to that inner voice. Pleased you got some enlightenment from it.

    Yvonne.

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    1. I think I have two voices - one is my conscious which talks quite rationally to me and which I do listen to but this other voice is more of my "nagger" which can get a bit shouty so I'm trying to modify it's tone as well as what it says that isn't useful!!

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    2. "its" NOT it's - (now my naggy voice would have had a field day but I've just held back and said - everyone makes mistakes don't worry they won't think you're an idiot!!)

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  3. what the inner voice says is based on some conscious and subconscious beliefs about yourself and the world, if you go and check those beliefs a lot can change ��. But just the realisation of having this voice in your head can change a lot. I loved the way Mooji used (you can find him on youtube), everytime the voice appeared to say sth he just answered sth like: "go away, the shop is closed today" and he just didn't listen �� I wish you to find a way to ignore this voice!
    Monika (love-it-now)

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    1. Thanks Monika - some good advice here. Thanks for stopping by :)

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  4. Not easy getting that voice to say 'well done,' mine's is always muttering things I'd rather not hear :)

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    1. Isn't it strange that we all have such different perceptions of each other - I would never have known that your inner voice gives you a hard time - thank you for sharing - it's nice to know we are not alone!

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  5. I'm glad that you moved forward with the prompt even though you didn't think it applied to you at first glance. The first step is becoming aware of it from this place you can find things that work to disprove that voice, quiet it, or change its tone. You might like this post from a fellow participant if you didn't see it already. She had an interesting way of dealing with it that I particularly loved!

    https://unbreakablejoy.wordpress.com/2017/05/19/ill-get-you-my-pretty-not-kindness-challenge-week-2/

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    1. I loved that particular post too - really clever :) I am just so grateful again for your weekly challenges and tasks that are really waking me up to some things in my life that I haven't really noticed have been going on - it is making such a difference!!

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  6. I don't think most of us realize how judgmental our inner voices are. Often, I talk aloud to myself. If my husband overhears me, he says, "Stop that. It's not true." I just laugh, but he has a point. Unlike you, those negative voices originated during my childhood. My mother was an extremely critical person. As an adult, I realized that her dissatisfaction with life made her that way, and her views were not a reflection on me.

    Wonderful post! I'll always stay a "child at heart."

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    1. Reading your post, I could see some of the demons you are obviously battling and as you say the views of others are NOT a reflection on you - but very difficult to deal with as a child I would imagine. You offered some really good insights - thank you for sharing :)

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  7. I really love how you approached this - brilliant!

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    1. Thank you, Deborah for your kind words :)

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  8. What a beautiful discovery you've made. It confirms the importance of being kind to yourself ;-)
    XxX

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    1. Yes this week has been quite an eye opener - or should that be "ear-opener"???

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  9. This is an interesting concept and one thing I dont think most people had realised! I look at my little sister and she always feels good about what she's doing or what she's wearing, and perhaps it is because her inner voice is kinder to her than it will be when she's all grown up or even a teen like me. What a wonderful way to put it, thanks for the encouraging idea!
    thenashtray.wordpress.com

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  10. What a positive outcome you've had this week. And you're so honest. It's really interesting being reminded to talk kindly to yourself and it does become easier. But your quote of the megaphone is hysterical! So apt :)

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